Lets Lighten the mood...

I Only Support Gay Marriages if both the chicks are hot



Bush Being Smart...?

Ok president Bush is at OPEC ( the oil producing countries Association)

After a day of negotiations the king of Suadi Arabia invites him to his house sits him down and starts chatting away.

He says "you know what Bush my son thinks America is great he loves it he wants to go live over there".

Bush replies, "well yeah, America is pretty great we'd love to have him over, what in particular does he like about us".

The Suadi says, "well he absolutly loves Star Trek he's got the costumes and I bought him all the DVD's and the ears".

Bush replies, "yeah Star Trek is a classic I like that show". Before he can finish the Suadi interupts and says, "you know we just can't understand one thing about Star Trek."

Bush, looking confident says, "ask me maybe I can help".

The Suadi ask's, "you know theres white people, black people even Asian people in star treck but why are there no Arabs".

Bush with a grin on his face say's, "well thats an easy one its cause Star Trek is set in the future".

Friends Advice

There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.

"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."

One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.

"I was , but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."

7 Reasons not to get drunk (not including the things Chocolate Face does when he is)

Mission Accomplished

A husband and wife are celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night.

She looks at her husband and says, "Honey, Do you remember this?" He looks up at her and says, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married." She says, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?" He nods and says, "Yes dear, I still remember."

"Well, what was it?" she asks. He responds, "Well honey, as I remember, I said, "Ohhhhhhhhh Baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big tits and screw your brains out." She giggles and says, "Yes honey, that's it. That's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, and I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"

Again he looks at her and looks her up and down and replies, "Mission Accomplished."