Eliza Dushku Photos

You may remember her from Buffie, and then her now cancelled Tru Calling

Some Jokes

Super Dildo

A married couple screw eachother every single night. But the man has to go away on a business trip for two weeks. His wife asks him, "what am I going to do without you?" The man decides to buy his wife a dildo for his leave.

At the dildo shop, the clerk brings the man into a back room. He says, "I've got something I know will please your wife. It's called the super dildo. All you have to do is say 'super dildo' and then the name of what you want it to screw, and it will screw it automatically. It won't stop until you say 'super dildo stop,' and only men can control it. For example... Super dildo the wall!" The super dildo immediately sprang into action humping the wall over and over. "Super dildo stop!" said the clerk, and the dildo stopped.

The man bought the dildo and brought it home to his wife. After she thanked him, he said "super dildo my wife!" and the super dildo sprang into action screwing his wife. He then left.

The woman was enjoying it, but she couldn't get it to stop. She got in her car and was driving to the dildo store all while the thing was screwing her, when she got pulled over by a policeman. He said, "Lady, you're driving like a drunk." She replied, "I'm not drunk, it's just that a super dildo is screwing me and I can't get it to stop!"

The policeman replied, "Super didlo, my ass."

The Queen & Christiano Ronaldo

Out on her royal yacht the queen was enjoying the sea air when she spied a man in the water off the port bow - clearly being menaced by a very large shark. Through her binoculars she could see it was Cristiano Ronaldo, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!

The queen ordered the captain to change course to try and save the poor man, but she knew the yacht's top speed would never get them there in time.. At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men wearing white England shirts sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled Ronaldo from the water and, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.

They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling ....... It was the Queen calling them to the yacht. On reaching yacht the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and said to Beckham, Rooney and Gerrard (for it was they) "I will give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I thought the England team would hate Ronaldo after the world cup, but I see that my England team are true heroes and should serve as a model for sportsmanship to other countries."

She knighted them there and then, and proceeded to sail away.

As she departed Rooney asked the others, "Who was that?!" "That," Beckham answered, "was our Queen. She rules the Commonwealth and knows everything an all that about our country."

"Well," Rooney replied, "she definitely knows F*ck-all about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up ?"

A Drawing...

... that i did myself, it is rather crude but i find it funny.

The Pigeon

Heres a random story i wrote a few months ago Rog has already read it:

So i sat there, watching him, as he continued to destroy my fathers crop, knowing that as soon as i opened the door he would be gone, out of sight and out of range. Hateful thoughts plagued my mind, but i felt as helpless as a new born baby, as helpless as a paralyzed man on the battlefield.

He looked at me, gloating, with a face that looked fulfilled, he'd had his share of my father's corn and now he was taunting me. He hopped onto one plant, and then onto another, flattening each one with his bulbous body, each time turning to look at me in order to fuel my rage. This was too much, i couldn't take it anymore.

The gun cabinet was not far, and although my father had said that i wasnt to hurt any human or animal, this was no animal, it was a creature, a creature of pure evil. The Glock 17 was one of my favorite pistols, it made me feel as powerful as God himself with it in my hands, i had the power of life and death. The pigeon, through all his cockiness did not know about the kitchen window, how it functioned, the fact that i could open it just enough to get the nose of the gun out, aim and kill the bastard.

The gun recoiled as i fired it, the pigeon took off in flight, but i had anticipated it, i aimed higher then his head, and as he lifted off the ground the bullet caught him in the eye, he dropped to the ground. Flapping in pain as i rushed towards him, he struggled, and through his one good eye he saw me, in all my glory, ready to finish what i had vowed to do. I emptied the gun into his belly, and as the bullets split him open, my fathers precious crop spilt out.

I did not bury him, he was not worthy of such an event. Instead i nailed his body to a stick as a reminder to all future pigeons who wished to destroy my fathers crop. I returned the gun to the cabinet and went on my way to feast on some ostrich meat.

Some Pics

Good Ol Prince Harry i would love it if he became the next king

Some Videos

Pharrell Williams Video, has Busta, Snoop, Jay-Z commenting on him.



T.I. MTV VMA Advert

Lupe Fiasco - I Gotcha (re-up)

Heres the album cover, and the video is below.



My Favorite Video right now from my favorite artist

Pharrell Interview With Allhiphop.com

You can make the argument that Hip-Hop and Pop culture have been fighting a never-ending battle since Big Bank Hank allegedly lifted a Grandmaster Caz rhyme for his verse on Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight.” Decades later the backpackers and the suits are still begrudgingly giving each other props for their respective roles in making Hip-Hop the dominant cultural movement that it is today. At the intersection of the underground and the Billboard charts, stands Pharrell Williams.

As entrances go, you’d be hard pressed to pick a more inconspicuous one. In 1998, after being understudies to Teddy Riley, the Virginia Beach native and his production partner Chad Hugo provided the backdrop for Noreaga’s Persian-themed project anthem “Superthug.” You know the rest of the story; eight years later Skateboard P has flipped his success behind the production boards into a record label, endorsements from Louis Vuitton leather goods and Hewlett Packard computers as well as his own brand of Ice Cream shoes and clothing.

Yet, in his mind, Williams is still a backpacker at heart. Never mind the fact that his backpack just so happens to be sitting in the passenger seat of a Ferrari Enzo-one of only 399 made worldwide. Is it possible that Pharrell is just as comfortable providing beats for gyrating pop starlets like Britney Spears, or his Virginia Beach cohorts The Clipse, who openly admit to being able to, “move ‘caine like a cripple.” Can you really call yourself a backpacker after hopping off of a private jet with Donatella Versace? As Pharrell himself would say, “Yessir.”

AllHipHop.com: You make a lot of references to artist, Andy Warhol, as someone who also mass produces mass culture, what other similarities do you see between you two?

Pharrell: I like Warhol because the commercial world understood him, but he traveled amongst the forward-thinking few. He just had an awesome perspective on his art. While I have a lot of stuff that I do that is physical or material, I like to reinterpret his position and his vantage point on music. When he did the color prints, he’d do Marilyn Monroe in four different colors juxtaposed-he would do one in blue, one in red, one in yellow and one in another color. What I liked about it is that if he did music, the n***a would probably loop something, I’m not a big sampler, but he would’ve probably sampled something and made it four minutes, and each minute he’d probably f**k with the frequency or f**k with the hues. Like that first minute would be clear, the second would be no bass, the third would’ve been regular but no treble, the fourth would’ve been like twisted and sound like it’s in a room or something. To me, that was dope, because it just showed you so many different left-handed perspectives of images that you’d seen before.

AllHipHop.com: True.

Pharrell: When I said, “I Warholed the world,” I just meant that I was one of the ones that brought color back, if that’s what you’re referring to. That’s such a vague statement and I’m not into taking a whole bunch of credit during an interview, so there’s not much I would say. I may say it in a verse, but I’m not big on taking credit in person.

AllHipHop.com: Don’t you think avoiding taking credit for certain trends and creating a formula of not having a formula is somewhat contradictory?

Pharrell: That’s exactly what it is, it’s oxymoronic, but it makes sense.

AllHipHop.com: You might not want to take credit for how fans respond to a record, but how do you control what you bring to the technical part of making music?

Pharrell: You can pretty much control anything you want when you’re creative, because its you-it’s your hands and it’s your clay.

AllHipHop.com: Is that what happened in Fade To Black, when you pitched “Allure” to Jay-Z by comparing it to the final scene of Carlito's Way? Although they're different mediums, is pitching a song idea similar to a screenwriter pitching a movie idea?

Pharrell: Yeah, that’s kind of how I see my music. I aspire to be to music what [Steven] Spielberg is to film.

AllHipHop.com: Even Spielberg has flopped before; have you ever looked back a project that didn’t meet your expectations and think, “How did I not see that one coming?”

Pharrell: Nah, because I look through creative lenses, and because that’s what it is, its not always gonna fly. I can’t get mad when I get nine out of ten. Sometimes having that one that didn’t really go like it was supposed to, for your fans that really love you, that s**t is special to them in a weird way.

AllHipHop.com: Is that what happened with N.E.R.D.? Those albums weren’t huge commercial successes, but they have kind of hidden dialogue which has created a cult following.

Pharrell: I just think that you should give people more for their money, you know? That’s what I would want, I would want for there to be some sort of hidden puzzle. The only thing you’ve got to worry about is when nutcases run across it, somebody thinking you’re trying to say “Helter-Skelter” or some kind of crazy s**t.

AllHipHop.com: They want to play the record backwards and get some kind of hidden message or something?

Pharrell: Man, believe me if I could do it! I’ve been studying it for a few years now, and it’s quite technical, because when you can get something to sound good backwards, it usually doesn’t sound good forward.

AllHipHop.com: So you’re taking it much deeper than just chord progressions and things of that nature?

Pharrell: Yeah, chord progressions sound incredible backwards-actually. I’m on the brink of my new style, by the way. I can’t wait to launch it, it’s not really Pop it’s just like some Hip-Hop s**t.

AllHipHop.com: Can we get any other hints?

Pharrell: Hmmm, can’t tell you. It’s about to be that s**t.

AllHipHop.com: Well, we’ve seen your current style evolve from “Rump Shaker” to “Super Thug” to “Can I Have It Like That,” do you have a “Golden Era” of your own?

Pharrell: For different reasons, you know? Like the Native Tongue era was incredible to me. The ’93 to ’97 Biggie, Jay-Z and Nas era was crazy too. I love the Rakim and [Big Daddy] Kane era. I like a lot of it and it’s so great to see how Hip-Hop is going in so many directions and we’re just trying to take it in so many other directions.

AllHipHop.com: Do you think any of the songs in your catalogue engage you emotionally the way those records did?

Pharrell: I don’t know, that’s taking credit again. I just like…

AllHipHop.com: What about just in general, it could be somebody else’s work too?

Pharrell: It doesn’t happen too often, to be honest. Right now the music industry is controlled by a bunch of lawyers, business guys and ex-attorneys who know how to turn a profit. And the way to turn a profit is to keep it simple, like fast food. They want it to be more like fast food and I like giving motherf**kers meals. I like hittin’ ‘em with jewels and I just like hittin’ ‘em with music that feels handmade. I try to make sure that the thread count is high; they don’t really give a f**k they just like to keep it going.

That’s why I love Jimmy [Iovine] so much, because Jimmy let me do this album that’s got so much condensed s**t in it. I’m not a commercial n***a, so he wasn’t supposed to give me the money he’s giving me or this kind of attention and turn up the heat like he did.

AllHipHop.com: So I guess you could say that it’s concentrated?

Pharrell: Yeah, it’s definitely concentrated, you could use a few gallons of water. I could’ve named my album Just Add Water.

AllHipHop.com: With this album, you've definitely gotten to a point in your career where you can now accept or reject projects--and be held accountable for your decisions…

Pharrell: Yeah, I mean when you make a certain amount of money from doing what you love, and you ain’t adding no motherf**kin’ chaser to it, that’s when you’re happy. I’m just happy that he wanted to put the record out. Of course I had my frustrations, and at times, you say to yourself, “Oh it could be this,” but God doesn’t want me to go pop [laughing]. That’s the only thing I could come up with, he don’t want me to be pop. He’s like, “Knock it off P, knock it off. You nice, but knock it off,” and I’m like, “You sure?”

AllHipHop.com: What kind of frustrations did you run into making it?

Pharrell: I just wanted to put my record out, but you can’t put it out if it isn’t mixed because you’re too busy working on everyone else’s project. I have myself to blame because I was just being anxious and artistic and not really caring about the logistics and being practical. But, it’s all good, I can’t complain. I get paid to do what I absolutely love, that s**t is so beautiful that I can’t even tell you.

I try to tell these kids, ‘cause I’ve got this resource center in Virginia Beach, I tell them, “Yo don’t do what you think is going to make you the most money, because there’s a lot of people with a lot of money who are not happy. You’ll realize that you wasted your whole life for a dollar, and you ain’t really happy. What you need to do is find out what you love and do that, and you’ll have a happy ass life. You might not be the richest, but in your heart and in your mind you’ll be rich.” I gotta tell you man, a lot of people tell me, “You don’t know what it’s like to be this or to go through that,” and I tell them, “Yeah I do, because I came from that!” At the same time, I see other people who’ve got way more money than me, but because they don’t do what they love and they don’t love anything more than money they’re always upset and s**t. To be a billionaire with no wife, what kind of life is that? Random b*tches can’t hold you over for the rest of your life, unless that’s what you want. If you want a full, healthy life, and to be good with your own family, to teach and give-because that’s what’s fulfilling to me. I guess to each his own. I just try to tell the kids that it’s more important to do something that you love to do. There’s more to life than just what you see on MTV, it really is-there’s more to life.

AllHipHop.com: You’ve already said that you’re reluctant to take credit but you’ve played a big role in this hybrid of skateboard and Hip-Hop culture. What do you think of the fact that there are kids with trucker hats skateboarding in Harlem now?

Pharrell: Yessir, it makes me proud ‘cause I grew up like that. I had a flat top ‘cause Cameo was the s**t with “Word Up,” I was a young kid. But, Vans was the s**t ‘cause I went to school with white boys. So n****s wore Vans, the checkerboard Vans, the blue and grey Vans, the pink and greys, the pink and blues, all that s**t. For me that was everyday, [at school] it was like, “Why is your hair like that.” Then when I went back to the ‘hood they was like, “Why you wearin’ them shoes, where your Jordans?” My mom couldn’t afford them Jordans, but Vans were 30 dollars, so I was good. Getting caught in the crossfire was a beautiful thing for me.

AllHipHop.com: Speaking of shoes, when the Ice Cream’s first dropped it was about 200 bucks a pair, now you’ve got the new line for 70, are you consciously trying to scale it down?

Pharrell: Nah, the “two for a pairs” are coming back, we had to do new models. The shoe that you’re referring to is a skate shoe. Skaters work hard for their money and you can’t really bang ‘em in the head for that [$200]. The first pairs you were talking about are the boutique pairs.

AllHipHop.com: Business moves like that must allow you to travel a lot, what area of the world do you most love outside of the United States and why?

Pharrell: I love Paris, I absolutely love Paris-but Tokyo, Japan is my home. That’s my home away from home. I love the culture, the mannerisms; they’re just all around good people. They’re some of the most polite individuals you’ve ever met in your life. They’ll always put the stranger first. For example, if you have a cold you’ll walk around with a facemask on-you know the kind that doctors wear? You’ll wear one of those because you don’t want anyone else to get the cold. When I saw that s**t I bugged out like, “What the f**k is this?” It was just so incredible to me and I was just so inspired I just like, I don’t know…

It’s been like five or six years, but now when I meet people I always shake their hand and look down and bow before them-not all the way, but just a little bit, because to me that just lets a person know that it’s a pleasure to meet them too. They bow, but I just nod and I shake your hand at the same time, it’s just out of respect.

AllHipHop.com: I’ve never been to Tokyo, but as a Long Beach native, I’m obligated to ask what’s going on with Terry Kennedy from the Team Ice Cream?

Pharrell: That’s my n***a, he’s good. His s**t is looking really great. We’re working on a skate show for Team Ice Cream and we’ve got the DVD coming, we’ve got a new shoe that we’re about to debut that’ll be a second component to the skate line. He’s got a bright ass future. I’m just trying to keep him out of trouble, you heard he got shot up?

AllHipHop.com: Yeah, I was visiting out there when that popped off. Unfortunately that’s how it goes on the Eastside.

Pharrell: He got shot up being in the wrong place at the wrong time and s**t. But, it’s cool because we’ve got it documented and we’ve just got to show the kids that you could be trying to do the right thing and get caught up in the wrong bulls**t. It’s important to keep focus and keep God first and keep your eyes on the prize so you don’t f**k around and lose it being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I told him, “Yo, you’ve got a lot of kids looking up to you.” That n***a’s got gangbangers skating now and s**t. Who would’ve though n****s would, not necessarily put their rags up, but kind of put ‘em in their pockets to skate?

AllHipHop.com: Taking it back to the music, when you deal with so many different genres from Rock, Pop, Hip-Hop, or even something like Coltrane what’s the one thing that's remained constant throughout it all?

Pharrell: You know what…I just love all kinds of music. Speaking of Coltrane, “Giant Steps” is a very generic track in comparison to his whole entire catalogue. But “Giant Steps” in itself was brilliant because the steps he decided to take were incredible. That song is based off of an exercise [The Chromatic Scale] by this brilliant Russian scientist and composer by the name of [Nicolas] Slonimsky-it’s incredible those exercises, and I only know because Quincy Jones told me. I love it, I can recognize it but I can’t read the keys, I can only read percussion. I was classically trained as a percussion player, that’s how I got into music to begin with-when I was in seventh grade. He [Quincy Jones] challenged me like, “Yo, you should really be able to read it, because if you can read it then when you’re on a plane you won’t have to do what you do.” Right now I have to remember it or hum it into my phone until I get to a piano, and then when I’m at the piano I play it out. Once I can play it out I can remember it until I can get in the studio. He’s telling me that I can write it on napkins, you know just write down like F-sharp, [laughing] I don’t even know if there is an F-sharp.

AllHipHop.com: So this is like transcribing music?

Pharrell: Yeah. You can just go into different keys-it’s amazing. I know this is like getting off of Coltrane but that dude was incredible. I love classically trained piano players, the ones that I know of--I don’t know them all, but the ones I know of are great. That s**t is just inspiring to me.

AllHipHop.com: When you put it into that context it sounds like musically we’re only getting the tip of the iceberg, is there some other stuff you want to tap into?

Pharrell: I get different producers to put together iPods for me. I got Q-Tip to put together an iPod for me and [BBC Radio 1’s] Gilles Peterson is currently putting one together for me.

AllHipHop.com: What kind of experience is it to go from growing up listening to A Tribe Called Quest, and then having Q-Tip do an iPod or collaborating on a song?

Pharrell: It’s f**kin’ incredible dude, I can’t even tell you. I’m the biggest…n****s don’t know, I don’t know how the world perceives me, and I think that’s my gift. I don’t know how they perceive me so I just kind of do what I do-I’m not really limited by what people think I should be doing and sometimes it hurts me, but a lot of times it helps me. I’m really, really, really a fan. Seriously, I’m like a f**kin’ fanatic! I’m pretty sure you know what the definition of that is, like I’m really a f**kin’ fanatic. I’ll be around these n****s like, “Oh s**t that’s f**kin’ Q-Tip, yo! That’s f**kin’ Jay-Z, Elton John.” I’m that guy, I may not say it as much and they may not believe me when I say it. But, I’m from Virginia, I never thought in a million years that I would meet any of them n***as, ever.

AllHipHop.com: That really came across when Michael Jackson was giving you the Q&A treatment for Interview magazine…

Pharrell: That was crazy, right? This n***a Michael is interviewing me! Michael motherf**kin’ Jackson, dude. This is the n***a that had the world captivated when that n***a stopped the music after his brothers walked off stage and then [beat boxes and hums the melody to “Billie Jean”]. What? N***a I almost burned a whole in my socks tryin’ to moonwalk. That n***a was the king man, and he’s interviewing me, s**t!

And I told Prince I wanted to work with him and that n***a was like, “Umm, okay we’ll just have to have a few conversations first.” I’m like, “Yo, whatever dude you’re the king, you don’t need me. You’d actually be doing me a favor is what you don’t understand,” and he just laughed. I’m thinking, “N***a, I’m not asking you to work with me ‘cause you need me. I’m telling you I want to work with you ‘cause I need to work with you. I need to be able to say I did something with Prince!” Yes this is for me: me, me, me, me, me, me. It’s selfish, but what do you say to a guy like that? How do you pose that to a guy like that, what is the need for him to want to work with you? This n***a made all kinds of records and was naming them all kinds of wild, crazy, bananas names and them s**t’s was working.

AllHipHop.com: I guess it all boils down to a respect thing?

Pharrell: You know? Them n***as is kings, they don’t need me.

AllHipHop.com: Like it or not, people are looking up to you the same way now. I don’t want to lump you all together but you, Kanye, Lupe Fiasco, seem to be ushering in a style where it’s okay to “be yourself.”

Pharrell: Yeah, but do people really see me that way though? I’m not sure. I don’t know if people know that I’m really a backpacker. Do you think they really get that?

AllHipHop.com: I guess it depends on who you ask. It would seem like anyone who analyzes the lyrics would pick up on that-especially an N.E.R.D. album. Aside from the fact that you occasionally mention it, if they’re tuned in to that same frequency, so to speak, don’t you think the audience picks up on it?

Pharrell: Hmmm, you’re right about that.

Mr. Me Too

Yep they made another video for this, still looks pretty hot:

Lupe Fiasco - I Gotcha

Heres the video for the song, if you're one of my UK bretheren then Lupe is now gracing us with his video for Daydream, which has eluded me during my searches of youtube, we mite not get this song as a single here so they mite not put this video on our tellyboxes


Ok the youtube video got deleted so heres the official link:

http://www.mtv2.com/#videoPremiere/1539016

Close Your Mind...

The ink of a scholar is worth a thousand times more than the blood of a martyr...

Recently the scholar of choice to feed my mind with his special blend of food and liquor has been Lupe Fiasco, before that in my mind was Pharrell.It was written rhymes from the street's disciple, Nas that showed me how to become one of god's sons, whilst Jay-Z used his blueprint to prove beyond reasonable doubt that he was one of the greatest, Kano showed me the life from his home sweet home, Dre, whilst tryna detox taught me the ills of the chronic, Eminem left me shouting encore, 50 told me how to get rich or die trying, without causing a massacre. The college dropout, Kanye told me how to avoid late registration and The Streets used original pirate material to school me on how a grand dont come for free.The Wu Tang Clan took me through the 36 chambers before Wiley saved me from treddin on thin ice and put me onto da 2nd phaze, The Alchemist recruited me into his 1st infantry and Timbaland told me all about indecent proposals.Talib Kweli stuck wid me through the beautiful struggle, and Common jus let me be.Nelly tried to get me to buy a suit cos i had sweat too much in nellyville Lord willin Clipse's album will come out soon, the big bang was what Busta said started the book of genesis then sent me away cos it aint safe no more, Luda showed me southern hospitality and by word of mouf told me where to get the best chicken and beer in the red light district, the boy in da corner Dizzee performed at showtime, DMX bit his way through flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood to become Grand Champ, T.I. showed me how he became King from jus being an urban legend, and Snoop showed me how to do it doggystyle whilst keeping the rythm and gangsta, G-Unit made Game beg 4 mercy in the documentary and N*E*R*D left me in search of...

Some Pharrell Videos and Another Version Of Money Maker

This is easily better than the other one, filmed when Luda still had an afro









Heres a funny video wid Pharrell talkin bout Chad's family, from the making of the Justified album









Pharrell's HP Commercial if you aint seen it b4..









Pharrell on Rap City, does an acapella freestyle, but the highlight is his new gadgets...









The video for Sleepy Brown's new song, its kinda old but if u aint seen it watch it here, its Neptunes beat and a good summer song, Big Boi from Outkast is in it aswel..









Nothing to do wid Pharrell, this is the video for Busta Rhymes Ft. Rick James - Ghetto, its a sick song so i thought i'd put the video up for u, its a special for Chocolate Face

Lets Lighten the mood...

I Only Support Gay Marriages if both the chicks are hot



Bush Being Smart...?

Ok president Bush is at OPEC ( the oil producing countries Association)

After a day of negotiations the king of Suadi Arabia invites him to his house sits him down and starts chatting away.

He says "you know what Bush my son thinks America is great he loves it he wants to go live over there".

Bush replies, "well yeah, America is pretty great we'd love to have him over, what in particular does he like about us".

The Suadi says, "well he absolutly loves Star Trek he's got the costumes and I bought him all the DVD's and the ears".

Bush replies, "yeah Star Trek is a classic I like that show". Before he can finish the Suadi interupts and says, "you know we just can't understand one thing about Star Trek."

Bush, looking confident says, "ask me maybe I can help".

The Suadi ask's, "you know theres white people, black people even Asian people in star treck but why are there no Arabs".

Bush with a grin on his face say's, "well thats an easy one its cause Star Trek is set in the future".

Friends Advice

There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.

"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."

One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.

"I was , but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."

7 Reasons not to get drunk (not including the things Chocolate Face does when he is)

Mission Accomplished

A husband and wife are celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night.

She looks at her husband and says, "Honey, Do you remember this?" He looks up at her and says, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married." She says, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?" He nods and says, "Yes dear, I still remember."

"Well, what was it?" she asks. He responds, "Well honey, as I remember, I said, "Ohhhhhhhhh Baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big tits and screw your brains out." She giggles and says, "Yes honey, that's it. That's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, and I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"

Again he looks at her and looks her up and down and replies, "Mission Accomplished."

Money Maker

Heres the video for Ludacris' Money Maker, chek out his new hair:







Thanks to Mnkey for findin this


I'm goin to work now so i'l catch u all wen i get back!!

BLOG NOT WORKIN

doesnt seem to be workin, so i'l leave it for a bit

Spraypaint & Inkpens...

Spraypaint & Inkpens i use to write in every colour i think in
To paint a picture with every rhyme that i speak in
The gallery is the beat then I...

Got lost in the moment didnt know what to do
got stuck wid the wrong frends joined the wrong crew
really wanted to skate, paint and write stories and stuff
but got caught in the ghetto and had to prove he was ruff
in the news he ran up on rival crews with a nervous manner
stuk in a rut couldnt turn the nut no strength for the spanner
couldn't turn away now he was stuck wid the hammer
this was no ordinary tool,
this was used by the weak to be cruel,
killin people for a couple of jewels,
the rich people with the porsches and pools,
got caught now look at the fools,
never learn from mistakes, thats why they never finished school..

Listen to Spraypaint & Inkpens by Fort Minor ft. Ghostface Killa & Lupe Fiasco here:

Spraypaint & Inkpens


(it doesnt have wots written up there i jus made that up)

LUPE IS KING

Yep yep yep, can't deny that his wordplay is wack, he sticks to realness not gunplay or crack music, not to diss Kanye's crack music, if you know me you know I would never do that. The current state of hip-hop often leaves me feeling somewhat bemused, I cant allow music by Dem Franchise Boys to be award winning, high selling and popular. Them dudes jus chat shit and have no content to their music, I support DMX on his recent tirades against this weak southern hip hop, I'll be glad when Luda and Outkast drop their albums, that's real down south shit, T.I. already held it down.

I also support DMX & Method Man's recent comments against Def Jam's RnB releases, putting a lot of money and energy into promoting Rihanna and Ne-yo, they may be quality RnB, but Def Jam is a predominately known for its Hip-Hop so i really dont know how they justify this move towards developing RnB artists instead of new rappers. The hunger for money in the industry has suffocated the creativity, did they employ Jay-Z for his business mind or for his knowledge of the music industry, nobody knows. But, with him being a rapper who went through the trials and tribulations of trying to find a record deal only to start his own label i find it dissapointing that he is not actively trying to help new rappers, but, as a wise man once said, FUCK IT!

This post was sposed to be about Lupe, i been tryna find his video for Daydream to put on this post, heres a link to listen to the song:

Listen to Lupe Here


If you a good friend of mine you should have got this song ages ago.

If you want to hear more from Lupe, chek this mixtape site

Datpiff.com

Man the industry spoilt my ode to Lupe, once again FUCK IT

Chappelle

Just thought id make a post dedicated to one of the funniest men of recent years.


The infamous Rick James(r.i.p) Video





Black George Bush (chek out that yellow cake, chocolate face knos wot im chattin bout)





Knee High Park Skit, listen to the "fuck it" song





Dave Chappelle supports Macs, WU TANG CLAN aint nutin to MESS WID!!

Gif-tastic

Jessica Alba's ass
Jessica Alba
Lindsay Lohan
Halle Berry
Elisha Cuthbert
Halle Berry
Elisha Cuthbert
Jessica Alba
Again
Anna Kournikova
Jessica Biel
Jessica Alba again

Some Jokes

Joe's Headaches
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.

"The good news is I can cure your headaches... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see... 34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck" Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see... 9-1/2... E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see... 7-5/8." Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure..." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

The New Priest

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish confessing to adultery.

One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had 'fallen.'

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe old age.

A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

"Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they've fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, "I don't know what you're laughing about, because your wife has fallen three times this week!"

A Man's Last Question

The was a man who had four kids, all gorgeous, except for the youngest one, Craig, who was nothing short of gruesome.

While on his deathbed, the husband asked his wife, "Marie, tell me one thing. And please be honest. Am I Craig's father?"

"Yes, honey," replied his wife. "I promise you, Craig is 100 percent yours."

"I can die a happy man. Godbye my love."

And the man peacefully passed away.

Marie gave a big sigh and said quietly, "Thank heaven almighty he didn't ask me about the other three."

Broken PCs

So it would seem that people don't know how to take care of their PCs, especially MC Chocolate Face and Slim Beans. Stupid girls both broke their PSUs, well Beans is sure that thats whats wrong with his, Chocolate Face is so nonchalant he doesnt even want to know what day it is.

I always sit and wonder what life would be like without PCs, its too much so i dont ponder on that shit for too long. I actually made frends wid Beans thru my conquest for knowledge on PCs, oh the joy of those carefree years, those DT lessons, not to forget Mr. Heberts maths lessons, a bond grew back then that shall never be broken. It even resulted in a clothing line, Evil Do Gooders, which now seems so childish, although some good t-shirts were made. A new company name shall emerge and the GHETTO BEAST shall rise again...

Brap Brap Im Back

So here it is, my blog, a collection of mind boggling originality, a collection of eclectic music, immaculate clothing, hilarious internet content and an insight into the mind of a modern day menace. I welcome you and hope you enjoy your stay, as Peter up there said, this is more intense than the time i forgot how to sit down.